The Eve

It is not much more than an hour away from my birthday. I feel scared.

Carpe diem.
Seize the day.
Live each day as if it's your last.

We hear these things. We hear them constantly. Sometimes we let them sink in, take root. Sometimes we forget them. Sometimes we forget them for a long time. I have forgotten these things for a long time.

A year and an hour ago, I reflected on my life. I saw how far I had gotten away from where I wanted to be. I promised myself I would get back on track, I would find direction, I would follow through. I'm writing this a year later, further away even.

Do I know what it's like to live deliberately? Not at all. But I plan to find out.

Happy birthday, me.

- M. Lee